The Jonas Brothers Must Die, Take Two

Posted in Uncategorized on January 19, 2009 by lordspoony

I think this website has gotten a bit more out of hand than it was originally intended to be. While I do hate High School Musical, the Jonas Brothers and Disney Channel as a whole, I do not really wish horrible things on them (I do, however, admit I want to beat the living daylights out of whoever conceived of the idea of “High School Musical” or “Camp Rock”).

I wrote this initial post as satire: an extremist exclamation against the dredge that is contemporary Disney programming made in mockery of the situation at hand. The point of my argument this whole time has been that in order to make Disney fall or change for the better, we must recognize it for its flaws and ridicule it as much as possible.

From some of the replies this site has been getting (without the need to put it on a search engine or pass it around!) I realize people have concurred with my message, even if some of the replies have been a bit more visceral than others. For those of you who have disagreed with my message, maybe you should read what’s transpired on this site and re-evaluate your position.

The Jonas Brothers are not quality. They’re another fabrication made to sell by the same Disney Channel that has been trying to pass off talentless actors as singers and designers. Comparing Miley Cyrus from Hannah Montana of today to Urkel from Family Matters of the past is quite a disappointment. We shouldn’t have to accept this garbage, and our children deserve better quality programming for what we pay in action figures, T-Shirts with logos, lunchboxes, video game renditions, music albums, themed cellphones and movie tickets. They deserve better than trash.

And from a company that is completely capable of producing quality work, demonstrated in recent movies such as Bolt, I expect better.

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The Jonas Brothers Must Die

Posted in Discuss with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 23, 2008 by lordspoony

The Jonas Brothers, in case you haven’t already heard because you’ve been living under a rock, are three Disney-endorsed cretins: a boy band consisting of related-though-unrelated-looking kids that sell themselves as “rock musicians” when in actuality they play terrible pop music. They are supposedly 20, 18 and 16 or some such age, but they all look like fourteen, fifteen year olds and dress in trendy, emo/indie/popculture clothing that makes them look even younger and more immature.

Along with their evil counterpart High School Musical, Jonas Brothers are attempting to take over the world in a flurry of pop culture, fueled by the Disney Channel Machine that pumps out child star after child star (examples being Lizzie McGuire and Hannah Montana, AKA Hilary Duff and Miley Cyrus; not that their real names matter). They have already starred in their own (godawful) movie, Camp Rock, in which they are not actually the main characters. The story revolves around a girl whose mother works maintenance for a “music camp” called Camp Rock, where kids learn to “make music”. Because of her mother’s job, she gets to attend at the camp. Then the rest of the girls at camp dicover that she’s, quote “not rich,” and they reject her.

This is of no better quality than the aforementioned High School Musical. Possibly worse, if you can even fathom something that bad.

The Jonas Brothers must be destroyed. In fact, all of Disney Channel is a plague, sent by the very depths of Hell to commercially flood our televisions and homes and brainwash children into buying crappy music and cheap merchandise that has no value and can give no emotional or physical satisfaction. We must save the children. This is a war against the very nature of Evil.

Disney Channel has struck us for the very last time. We must strike back, and with force. Whether you be Anon or no, we need you in the ranks. The Jonas Brothers must die.